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[Mar. 7th, 2012|12:14 pm] |
Pointless knowledge nugget of the day*: Of the fantastic Churchill quote "we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender." Only the word "surrender" is not descended from Old English. Which, frankly says something about the strength of both English and the English.
*keeping in mind that I just heard this in an audio book about the history of English and have not validated it in any way, I just thought it sounded cool. I'm about as reliable as your average public bathroom stall wall.
In other news, because it felt so good to get thoughts down and out of the swirling amorphous anxiety-well of my brain, I'm probably going to put up a post later talking about the homework my ED doctor sent me out with this week. I'll be about food and probably about shame and will absolutely include lines about how it's incredibly obnoxious of me to wank this much over my first world woes while there are actual big crises in the world. But then I shall imagine Kiltie giving me *stern face* and remember that just because it's globally small doesn't mean it isn't locally painful. Anyway, it won't be like the B&H posts and I expect it to be not at all inspiring, cheery, and may very well be triggering to those dealing with anxiety disorders, food issues, etc. So raise your hand if you'd like to be on it. By default I'm excluding everyone else because.. well.. it's wanking. And like masturbation it wont be pretty for y'all to watch, but I could certainly benefit from it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 5th, 2012|08:48 pm] |
Chloe's depiction of the Easter Island statues. Uncannily lifelike, no?
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| Werebear bear bar. |
[Mar. 3rd, 2012|12:17 am] |
I am in the midst of reading a series of books which even I, as an entertained reader, will admit are Not Good. Like "Hex" is Not Good. They are prose so purple it's imperial. Seriously, if one of you wrote something this florid I'd assume you were fucking with me. The male characters are all tall, muscular, and they are always drawn to the female characters with feelings they have "never experienced like this." Every time.
These books are full of immortals and vampires and werewolves and women who can reach orgasm through penetration only in less than 5 minutes. (Which, I don't know about you, but in my world is as probable as vampires and werewolves. If it's not improbable in your world please don't tell me.) The sex scenes are full of anatomically ambitious positions,including a stellar example where the 5'10" heroine mounts a 6'6" hero in the front bucket seat of a low-slung two-seater sports car, which is just a recipe for back pain and a knee to the nose if you ask me.
And I am reading them with unabashed joy. I have set a scale of their awesomeness which is measured in how long it takes the author to describe something as "tawny." The Start-to-Tawny index. Cee has taken to calling them Tawny Tales of Improbable Intercourse. The entire experience has probably knocked me down about 20 points on the Respectable Intellectual scale. I don't care.
( Continued wanking and validation of your copy of ABBA Gold... )
Because the phrase 'werebear bear bar' is just guaranteed to make me smile.
And now, a link to a pants-wettingly funny man who puts into one minute what it took me 1000 words to say. And he fits a frottage joke in while he's at it. Dara O'Briain on guilty pleasures. |
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| Conversations |
[Mar. 2nd, 2012|10:08 am] |
Conversations I'm not proud to have had recently:
Me: I'm at the grocery store and Chloe just took a toothpick from the cheese samples and poked a shitload of holes in a $13 piece of meat.
Cee: *sigh*
Me: I'd sell her but she's too small to work really hard so I won't get much for her.
Cee: maybe for parts, though.
Me: Good idea, and there's a market because God knows it's hard to find lungs for an '07 Caucasian.
Cee: plus the newer the parts the more different kinds of makes and models they could fit in. you could be sitting on a gold mine.
Me: And as the original owner I still have all the paperwork.
Cee: Just something to consider. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2011|09:21 pm] |
Chloe (wearing an orange plastic beach pail on her head): Guess what I'm dressed up as!?
Me: Devo?
(apparently the correct answer was "Robin Hood." Duh.) |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2011|02:56 pm] |
I believe the following (courtesy of some mouthy bint) is an accurate representation of today's events in my neck of the woods:
DC EARTHQUAKE DEVASTATION
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2010|10:34 am] |
I have a new job. One where I get to do things I like and walk my daughter to school in the morning AND walk her home at night. I'm working at a desk I built myself from bare wood. My life is really really good right now and the funk of stress and anger that built up over the last six months is sloughing off finally. I have to work through Pennsic, but I did that last year and the ability to be there at night and around my friends? That's a reasonable trade-off.
Also, I miss you guys. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2010|03:38 pm] |
Later, when we're sitting around having coffee and chatting about power tools, let's pretend my that I don't do most of my projects in the kitchen. Also, let's pretend my kitchen doesn't look this bad. In my defense, we just finished moving in today and most of that stuff will be put away by Tuesday. But for now, let's just wave our Magic Wand of Martha Stewart and pretend this is a nice shiny workshop somewhere with all the tools on pegboards and stuff instead of on my counters.
( My new headboard... )
And today's lesson learned is this: If you think to yourself 'This is really hard to do from this angle' you should stop and stand up and move to a more comfortable position. Because I don't care what your college boyfriend told you, nothing is ever made easier or more fun by doing it at an awkward and uncomfortable angle. Especially if it involves a nail gun. |
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mellyflori's journal
