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[Jun. 22nd, 2009|09:57 pm] |
Me: What's that fifth taste? It's sweet, sour, salty- Steve: Semen? Me: I hate you. (it's umami, btw) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2009|10:13 pm] |
| [ | how ya feelin'? |
| | mouthy | ] |
Ah, joy. The episode of Unsolved Mysteries where they blame it on the SCA. Apparently the SCA is just a front for a secret den of harmless woowoo huggers satanists. Apparently 17 year old boys do not drink beer while at the beach. Rather, the secret underworkings of the SCA sought to silence a squeaky wheel by drowning him. Sure, it's worth noting that his armor was gone, but if he had a date it's possible that he took the armor out first because, while your girlhood hopes and dreams may have included knights in shining armor and fighters battling for your hand, your womanhood has taught you that fighters smell like unwashed gym socks and the armor itself is like some kind of writhing erlenmeyer flask of funk.
Here's a little something to set to rest the minds of parents who might worry about such a tragedy happening to their children:
The SCA, collectively, takes 6 months organize a Sunday potluck lunch.
Should the "underground SCA den of stanists" decide to go after your child they will first have to engage in three months of discussions in order to decide who is in charge of the mission, and who should be backup. Also who should hold the sage pot. These conversations will take place over email because they don't often leave the house.
Do not fear, your child will have plenty of time to escape.
just to make this clear, I'm terribly sorry for this father's loss. My heart goes tight at the idea of losing my girl. I just think that when you find an attractive, popular young man at the beach surrounded by beer cans and you know he has a penchant for climbing and diving, it's maybe not worth bugging the pagans too much. There are plenty of other things we can pick on them for. How they can't wear those chainmail headdresses without them getting stuck and yanking out about 18,000 hairs... just to start. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 29th, 2009|11:27 am] |
- Happy Birthday, Jim! May your coming year bring you happiness that sounds like mandolins, feels like warm breezes through your new truck window, and tastes like good beer.
- This appears to be my week for ex-boyfriends. H sent me more pictures from the middle east and he seems to actually be thriving there. And Seth and his wife welcomed a baby boy for whom there are new pictures. Cutest little cheeks! I love hearing these things and I love keeping in touch with them. I know this makes some folks uncomfortable and that they burn their bridges but these men were my friends first and foremost and I love that I got to keep my friends even after the romance ended. Besides, we all think we traded up, and that's the best outcome ever. :)
- Saturday I'll be on my own with Mz. C so I think we're going to go strawberry picking at the farm up the street. This is a different place than we tried last year but it looks promising. It doesn't have raspberries so we'll go back to the other farm for those but I'm looking forward to seeing if Chloe is actually helpful or just shoves them in her face whole.
- Berry picking = Jam making! Woot!
- The secure random token generator I have to get on the VPN at work is called a SafeWord. Hee! Sometimes I'm so twelve years old.
- Last weekend involved flaming tetherball, swinging in a HUGE swing, afternoon naps, and long stretches of reading my book. I'm feeling a little more like myself.
How are you guys? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2009|10:56 am] |
I'm on this conference call and I wish I knew for sure that my mute button worked so that I could eat my breakfast. But I'm new to the project and I'd rather not have my intro be all *CRUNCH CRUNCH SLURP MASTICATE*
Also; Holy Thunderstorm, Batman! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2009|10:57 pm] |
Cast of Characters: The Professor, The Newlyweds, The Techie, The Hot Blonde, and The Army Guy Setting: Abandoned Sanitarium Deep in the Woods. At Night. This can not possibly end well. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2009|12:57 pm] |
Here's the thing, right? I think if you have to hang a fake set of big brass balls from your trailer hitch it probably says something about your *actual* balls. I know people with big brass balls and they don't feel the need to advertise. They just quietly go about their days, clanking confidently as they walk.
This is all by way of saying hey, Mr. Guy at the Gym, I see your trailer hitch and I have my doubts. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 2nd, 2009|10:50 am] |
On this, the anniversary of her death, I am celebrating Caitlin's life by having Red Lobster biscuits for breakfast and spending the afternoon surrounded by craft goods of fabulous colors and splendid textures. I will play with little girls and have dessert first. I will love my family and spend hours with my book. I will never stop missing her, but today she feels a little bit closer. I love you, Cait. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2009|06:37 pm] |
Ok, a little quiz. One of these is the best place to practice a new skateboard move, allowing for the time and learning necessary to avoid wiping out in embarrassing ways: 1) Your driveway/yard/quiet neighborhood culsesac or dead end street. 2) The sidewalk running beside the main traffic intersection in our wee but bustling town. Take your time. Think it over. Don't rush into it, unlike the douche in the red hat. He chose pooorly. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2009|12:03 pm] |
Anyone who has Adobe Acrobat (meaning you can edit a PDF) who is willing to do me a quick two minute favor?? My install keeps corrupting and I need to get this done. Grrr. I have a fabulous TBD story as payment. :D |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2009|07:45 pm] |
For future reference, Africa's Great Rift Valley is both heavier and more delicious than it initially appears. |
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mellyflori's journal