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So.. a few weeks ago, heading home from something, I was chewing… - Then You Get Up And Have Breakfast [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Whole lotta labia.

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[Sep. 19th, 2005|12:45 pm]
Whole lotta labia.
[how ya feelin'? |soresore]

So.. a few weeks ago, heading home from something, I was chewing gum to stay awake. I finally got sick of the flavor and spit it into a kleenex and then the next time I went to open my mouth I felt this *click*. So I closed it and *click*. I sat there opening and closing my mouth over and over getting more and more worried as it went *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* But then finally decided to just quit talking on the phone so much.

Last week my co-worker J had a big jar of Mike'n'Ikes at her desk. I love those things. I was eating them by the handful. We call it "Lunch at Cafe Aldana." Except my jaw started hurting. Then I made homemade bread and my jaw kept hurting. Then I had some gum and my jaw kept hurting. Then Saturday came and I couldn't open it all the way. It was making this hideous *CLICK* about half-way through the range of motion and the right side was just this knot of ow.

So I caved. I went to the dentist. We'll not mention the part where they made me an emergency appointment and then didn't tell the front desk staff so I went in there and they looked at me like I was insane. We'll not bring up the part where I called back to say "Am I hallucinating?" and they said "OMG SO SORRY COME BACK NOW PLS!" We'll skip right to the part where the nice dentist man says "Just one side, huh?" And I said "Yeah." And he says "Huh."

Turns out? Massive muscle spasm on the right hand side. Exacerbated by a number of odd little things and needing some serious rest. Pretty much no chewing, no sleeping on my side, no talking on the phyone without a headset, and (he says this while looking at me like 'don't try to deny this, bitch, I know your type') some advice to "Stop testing it, I promise your jaw will still open even if you're not testing it. Knock it off." Also, it goes without saying, no cock. *le sigh*

On the plus side? Ice cream. \o/

When it gets better I need to work on strengthening the muscles on the other side and retraining my bite a bit. And no more gum. So.. yeah.. nice doctor, good advice, sucks about the no-head thing.

How are you guys?

[User Picture]From: slightlytricky
2005-09-19 04:52 pm (UTC)
Did Lizzies and her bread stick teach you nothing?

also. *curls around you* hi precious. i love you.
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[User Picture]From: mellyflori
2005-09-19 04:53 pm (UTC)
But mine will get better! I forgo gum for cock! It's a small sacrifice, really. I can always put strawberry flavoring on the cock. I just have to remember not to chew it.
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[User Picture]From: yellow_oranges
2005-09-19 05:01 pm (UTC)
oh God. My jaw has been hurting since February, but without the click (Just a massive 'crunch' sound and then varying degrees of ow on different days).

Dentist, huh. Dammit.
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[User Picture]From: mellyflori
2005-09-19 05:07 pm (UTC)
GO! Because if it's just one side then it's probably rest and relaxation, if it's both sides then it's maybe something else.. go. Fer serious. Your smile is too gorgeous to risk it. :)
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[User Picture]From: almaviva
2005-09-19 05:03 pm (UTC)
(he says this while looking at me like 'don't try to deny this, bitch, I know your type')
I *so* know that look *g*
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[User Picture]From: mellyflori
2005-09-19 05:06 pm (UTC)
I was all "But! What if I don't test it and then one day it won't open!" and he said "I promise, that won't happen." But he said it with the same tone that you'd use if a toddler said "But what if I wake up and all the trees have turned purple?" Small words, soothing tone, 'you complete moron' look on his face. :)
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[User Picture]From: maitheas
2005-09-19 05:13 pm (UTC)
ah! Did I ever tell you that I spent most of my grad school days in a bite splint so that I wouldn't grind my teeth at night? or that I officially had TMJ and had to have shots into the joint to reduce the swelling?

It hurts like a big dog, yo.

And sorry about the leaving off of the head. Although, now that I think about it, welcome to Ronnie World.

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[User Picture]From: mellyflori
2005-09-19 06:07 pm (UTC)
Ronnie, I loved your txts this morning, they made me smile so big. Also! An hour long drive is just enough time to try four different BPAL scents and have the bad ones wear off enough that you don't choke the office. Final result?

Hetairae: YAY!
Wanda: Yum!
Santo Domingo: Ew!
Twilight: *pinches nose*
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[User Picture]From: insidian
2005-09-19 05:18 pm (UTC)
But... if it went without saying, then Doctor didn't say it. If Doctor didn't say it, it's obviously not important. Therefore, COCK! Still on the menu! QED!
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[User Picture]From: traveller
2005-09-19 05:20 pm (UTC)
she makes an excellent point, mellies.
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[User Picture]From: cindyjade
2005-09-19 05:20 pm (UTC)
my poor mellies!!!!

*massages your jaw!*

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[User Picture]From: mellyflori
2005-09-19 06:27 pm (UTC)
No bagels. *sigh* Lizzies, I'm going to miss caramels.
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From: berreh
2005-09-19 05:27 pm (UTC)
However: the faster you get better (i.e., the more ice cream you eat), the sooner you will be able to return to the cock buffet. Therefore Matt must take his place as the ice-cream provider and manservant. It's in his best interest, really!
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From: starfishchick
2005-09-19 05:33 pm (UTC)
Oh, Mellies.
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[User Picture]From: make_your_move
2005-09-19 05:54 pm (UTC)
No cock? Damn ... and I'm having this totally weird Talia moment while I hear her in my head yellin "Get to lickin'!"

~hugs you~
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[User Picture]From: alex_wench
2005-09-19 06:39 pm (UTC)
yeah, she would also say this thread would be much better if we were all naked.... Just sayin's all.
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[User Picture]From: alex_wench
2005-09-19 06:37 pm (UTC)
NO HEAD. OH hun. That (no pun intended) blows.
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[User Picture]From: mellyflori
2005-09-19 06:41 pm (UTC)
Eh, it'll be ok. It's not like they weren't getting all jaded about it anyway. Perhaps some period of denial will make my fine quality fellatio more appreciated.

Also, time to research some new tricks. *hums 'star spangled banner'*
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[User Picture]From: wizardglick
2005-09-19 07:04 pm (UTC)

Melly, I'm kind of a little afraid to open my mouth too much right now.
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[User Picture]From: mellyflori
2005-09-19 07:28 pm (UTC)
It's disconcerting, I'll tell you that. Mostly it just makes me want to test it all the time becuase he was like "don't test it!" so I'm like *must* *test* *now*


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