||[Jul. 5th, 2007|10:52 am]
Whole lotta labia.
|[||how ya feelin'?
My little brother had requested a baby carrier so that he could bond with the baby while doing yard work and stuff like that while I'm visiting Mom. Hell, anything that gives me a break is good in my book. And he's rather adorably excited about the baby. So as a "congrats, you're going to be an uncle" thing I agreed to get him whichever one he wanted. He wanted the Snugli since it has backpack capability after a certain size. Personal opinions about the Snugli aside, it's what he wanted so I went with it. I called on Monday to confirm I had the right one.
Me: So, just to confirm, you want the one that can be used on either the front or the back?
Greg: Yes, I want the pivoting Snugli.
Me: Ok, it doesn't really pivot, you have to take it off.
Greg: Whatever, I want the dual capability Snugli.
Me: Ok. Done.
Greg: So.. what's the deal.. when are you going to *garbled mess that I swear sounds like "sort this thing out"*
Me: What do you mean when am I going to sort it out? It's sorted, it's in the cart.
Greg: No, when are you going to squirt this thing out.
Me: ..... that's the first time I've ever misheard something and had the reality be *worse* than what I imagined I heard. It's not on my schedule, it's on hers.
Greg: Ok, because I need to try out the Snugli.
Me: You can't put her in it right away.
Greg: That's cool, I can wait a bit. There will be lots of chances. Strap the kid on, go to the store, wave around the ringless hand.
Me: Wait. Wait a minute. Are you planning on using my infant daughter to pick up chicks?
Greg: Hey, if it works.
Me: You're shameless. *notices something on box* Oooh, this one comes with a pocket for your cellphone.
Greg: That's great, because then I can get the fake call and be like "Yeah man, the doctor called, I don't know what's going on. They say there's nothing they can do about it and my cock's just going to be 9 or 10 inches forever. I gotta go though, I'm taking my neice out for the day, I just love bonding with her, I can't wait to settle down and have a family of my own."
Me: ... you are *such* an asshole.
Greg: But do you think it'll work?
Weekend recap to come. It was a big 'un so I need food first.