||[Mar. 24th, 2014|05:07 pm]
Whole lotta labia.
My meds situation is straightening out and I'm so pleased about that I could just squee. And I went as far as to have some conversations with people that were extremely uncomfortable in the abstract anticipation stage and yet fairly easy to have and really satisfactory in their resolution. To stand firm and say "These are my needs" and believe that my needs were as valid as theirs. That they were needs at all rather than pathetic wants I had because I wasn't strong enough/good enough/trying hard enough. That people who aren't broken don't need these things. That was extremely hard for me, and I'm not even sure what the motivation was that got me over it, that deserves some more thought.|
And to have the reaction be "Well of course!" or "I feel the same way!" No questions or judgement, and a coming closer together afterwards, more honesty on our interchanges? Unbelievable. And hopefully that'll inform future situations where I find myself wary. Of course the first time I come up against a negative reaction I anticipate being thrown back about 20 paces. I'm not sure how I'll handle that. Probably that deserves some more thought as well.
Take home lesson: Stop assigning beliefs and reactions of your own fears to other people, Mel. I'm not saying it's all going to be sunshine and roses, but the whole world doesn't think like me, and it's solipsistic to assume it. Plus, it hurts. And I'm trying to stop hurting myself recreationally. (figuratively speaking, no actual self-harm happening at all)
In conclusion: Still self-medicating with Claudia Black because as it happens, she makes me feel better even when I'm properly medicated. :D